4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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