alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
it was like eating out sand paper
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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