question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
