I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
