dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
