Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
