OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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