I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize