Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
