my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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