I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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