I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
and she was petting her beer can
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize