I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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