we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
