dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
