jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
