Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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