Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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