I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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