Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Rumble strips road head = magical
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
