i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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