how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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