I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
