Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
