Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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