I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize