booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My vagina is very pro this idea
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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