Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
