I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
