i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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