hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
