He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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