I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize