i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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