Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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