So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
