I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
