Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
