apparently the secret to your success is patron
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
