So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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