This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
