you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
