Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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