I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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