I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
