maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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