Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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