I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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