fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize