Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
