Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
