I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just blew my weed a kiss
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
