I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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