So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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