I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
