What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
