We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
