i think my mom watched the whole time
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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