Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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