we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
