paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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