Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
