I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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