I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
